Escapism

Sometimes you need a little dose of reality. This past month has been pretty busy and I've found that creatively I've been in a fairly empty place. I can't seem to summon up the willpower so resort to reading books written by others, something that I generally perceive to be the easy way out. It spirits you away to another little world of someone elses imagining and allows a little down time. Now that's nice but there's something a little frustrating about simply accepting that alternate reality because the fact is that you're limited in your imaginings to the extent of the thought behind the concept of the book itself, ergo you are confined to the thoughts and parameters as set out by the author themselves.

And that is therefore not true escapism. You're simply transferring yourself into someone elses imagination I guess some would call that escapism and it would be tough to argue that it wasn't, but for me escapism is allowing your own imagination to build that picture, paint in all the little nuances and boundaries and being able to explore the world of your own creation.

And I've been drawing a blank on that one. I put it down to a fair bit of overtime at work coupled with the somewhat mind-numbing feeling I get when I arrive home and just want to collapse in front of the TV.

But I suppose there has been one recent revelation at least: Someone helpfully pointed out that I am happy with my private life as things stand, having got the arrangement of being able to see people as and when and get that feeling of being wanted with none of the problems associated with having to share my life with someone.

And I guess they're right. I do like coming home and knowing that it's my own space that I don't have to share with anyone, I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing, eating the wrong thing or sorting out some kind of arrangement over what we watch on TV. And for that reason, I guess I understand now why I like the arrangement associated with dating someone. You get to go out or meet up for dates and yet you don't have to worry about whether you can let a guff out at home.

But then I do have to consider why, if I'm so happy, do I still have that need for escapism on at least a mental level?

Answers on a postcard. Oh, and yes I am available for dates...