A lot on a very tiny mind...

Don't you just hate it when you think you're doing ok and then go to the bank to check things out and then WHAM, you realise you're nowhere near as ok as you thought you were? Well, that happened to me yesterday and I found it very irritating. On the plus side, I have now managed to secure a means to make things a bit better in the short term but just like todays budget report, it'll be a measure that requires me to pay things off in the long term. Don't worry, I haven't taken out a loan or anything as galling as that. I've learned that lesson at the very least.

I suppose it comes down to my own lack of willpower, something I've struggled with over the last year or so. I get bored easily and the way to address my boredom is to buy something that stops me being bored. So how do you get past that? Well the long and short of it is, I just don't know yet. I have now joined a gym and intend to use that to take up some of my free time to stop me from getting so easily bored. I also have my revision I need to do prior to my exam in June which I really need to crack down on. I've just gotten to that point where I need to fill my time with doing something productive for the future rather than to satisfy my "wants" of the present time.

If that makes me a little selfish then so be it. I've resolved to basically quit spending my evenings going out and seeing people all the time so that I can better fund my lifestyle. It's not so difficult really if only I were to stick to the damn plan! I've budgeted my finances ever since I bought my own flat and yet I have really struggled to stick to it because of my own lack of will. Someone might suggest going out for a pint and I jump at the chance. Someone suggests going to see a show and I'm there. But how can I justify the expenditure? I can't.

So how to deal with this? I'm going to be ruthless with myself as from May. I know how much I can afford to spend and that is all I will take out of my bank at the beginning of the month. My budgets for food and going out will be stuck to or, so-help-me-God, I'll sink faster than the Titanic!

As a result of all this, in addition to the revision I am forcing myself to do, I have been in a shockingly bad mood and rather than take that out on people, I have been stowing myself away a little bit. To anyone I've been ignoring or not been particularly receptive to, you have my apologies. Catch me in a couple of months time and we'll see how things go!