Thoughts, ideas, and simple reflection.
Posted by El Mistico Tuesday, 1 November 2011 at 19:12
Posted by El Mistico Monday, 24 October 2011 at 18:47
Posted by El Mistico Monday, 19 September 2011 at 20:55
Posted by El Mistico Sunday, 4 September 2011 at 20:35
Posted by El Mistico Saturday, 23 July 2011 at 23:47
You come to me as you’re lost, little lamb
You ask things of me that are not mine to give
I say that I won’t but you know that I can
This is no way for any man to live
If your fleece were as lies then a blanket I’d of spun
Soft and white like the skin upon your face
But to look upon it is to burn like the sun
You have made me want to leave this place
Your bleating is like pain unto mine ears
Breaking down my soul and tearing down walls
Your demands grow like the greatest of fears
Trying to make me stumble, hoping that I fall
But I see beneath your coat so white and pure
I must resolve now to face the future alone
You are no lamb but a wolf, of that I’m sure
You want to chase me down, to gnaw upon my bones
For though you are lost indeed, little lamb
As are we all and to ourselves we must look
Your smiles and your laughs are nothing but a sham
Time to pay for all those lives that you took
Posted by El Mistico Sunday, 12 June 2011 at 13:26
There comes a time in your life, I think, when you begin to wonder what it's all for. Some call this a "crisis", others say it hasn't happened to them and they don't think too deeply about such things and in many respects, I wish I was like that. One of my main problems/quirks/whatever is that I think very deeply. I don't like the traditional view of the world where a man or woman must work to provide for others, must forsake themselves and often their dreams simply to survive in a society that is not designed to cater to individuals but to the "greater good" of all.
I recently read that the singer Adele was angry that she had to pay 50% of her earnings in income tax now that she was being paid over the threshold required (£150,000). There are two schools of thought over this, the first being that she's a greedy gobshite who, despite earning something like £8million and having to forefeit 50% of that in tax feels that she deserves not to have to pay such a high rate of tax because "Its not fair". There are others who sympathize with her and say that she deserves not to be taxed such a large amount because "She's earned it". Far be it from me to criticize someone on their choice of career but many people not in that line of work would suggest that being a singer can be considered to be relatively easy "job", albeit in my view that is highly dependant on how hard you strive for recognition of your work. Surely the harder you strive, the better the results? (Unless the music you produce really is quite poor or aimed at a niche industry) In any event, Adele is still rich beyond most people's imaginations.
Perhaps she can now afford some elocution lessons? Yes, I'm a snob like that. Deal with it.
The point I'm trying to make here is that you feel like you put your heart and soul into what you do but you get very little out of it by way of a reward. The very idea of money as a reward is somewhat perplexing because I think money is an awful thing that drives people to ruin themselves or others in pursuit of it, but no matter how much we loathe our dependence on it, depend on it we must and therefore it makes personal sense to go out and obtain as much of it as you can in order to try and live the kind of life you want to lead. The fact that some people have more than others is because either they've worked hard and pursued such levels of monetary gain or they have been in the fortunate position of being born into it or gifted with it. It is easy for those of us who don't have it to resent those who do. Too easy.
Perhaps I live in something of a dream world where I would love to be able to simply walk away from all this and set up home somewhere quiet and not be bothered by things great and small so that I can explore the things I would like to do. In my mind I view that as acheivable, yet in reality I see it as something I would have to work very, very hard to pull off and that can be a galling prospect. We have a finite amount of time on this planet and I often wonder whether it would really be worth pushing myself like that for however long I need to to acheive that end. Do I really want to work so hard for something I may only be able to enjoy for a short period of time? Can I really predict that it would ever happen the way I want it to? The future is no less uncertain no matter how much you look at it and try and guess the likely outcome of things.
So in retrospect, I think there is some sense in saying we should "live for the moment", "enjoy the now" or whatever other cliches you can think of because the fact is you never know what could happen. You never know who will be with you on your journey or whether their journey will end before or after your own one does. I don't like that situation and it doesn't sit right with me. It seems incredibly unfair. But then life is. Many things have taught me that. I can be quite a pragmatic individual, not prone to displays of emotion or even particularly affection, perhaps because I struggle to accept such things outside of family and close friends. It takes me a long while to accept people and consider them friends, but when I do, then they're someone I care about.
So what is it all about? I guess we may never know. Even when you think you do, ultimately something happens that makes you question it. And I guess we wouldn't be human unless we questioned everything now would we? If it rains, it rains.
Posted by El Mistico Saturday, 30 April 2011 at 12:21
And so I shall tell you the truth of it. All you know now, all you have ever known is nought but lies. The lies have been spun from the mouths of those who would seek to hide the shameful past of humanity. For in its darkest hour, they were the ones who made the ultimate sacrifice. There are few of us left from those years in the void, our silence bought by the promise of the life we want without fear of persecution or scrutiny and yet we know they watch us. They watch us, they listen to us and they make sure we tow the line. Those who do not? I would not burden you with that knowledge. Now listen, this will take some time…
It was the year 3129 when humankind was reduced to a population of no more than fourteen million, cast adrift into the void of space upon three gigantic space frigates named The Shining Beacon, The Day’s Beginning and The Dream Seeker. No one knows what cataclysm caused the sundering of Urth and the fleeing of our race from our home planet, though speculation was rife with some claiming Urth had been poisoned by years of war and manufacturing whilst others claim the world was being reclaimed at a ferocious rate by the Nay-chure whom originally held sway over the planet before humans existed. The massive hulk ships were constructed in orbit over the course of some seventy Urth years and through some long forgotten technology, the remaining population was transported to the huge frigates and, save a few brave souls who stayed behind to see that the giant ships were launched successfully with the correct launch protocols from Urth, we were then cast into the expanse of the galaxy to seek a new world, or worlds, to settle. We have forgotten more than we can now ever know again.
In the year 5297, according to the ship computer, our fuel was long since expended, the vast hulks drifting through space propelled only by their onward momentum along charted routes provided by the Astronome, an ancient organisation originally based on Urth that provided the safest route through the known galaxies aiming the blunt-faced frigates at planets believed to contain atmosphere’s similar to what our own once was, countless light years away from Urth. The launch of the frigates was timed to the second, designed to direct us through space without colliding with any planets or moons on the way. Though these wise men and women were undoubtedly the best in their field, from time to time the ships would encounter meteors swarms and we would confine ourselves to our meagre quarters as the ancient ships shuddered and vibrated with each jarring impact of space rocks against the hulls. Breaches of the hull had happened before; usually resulting in loss of life and with little in the way of raw materials for repairs, sometimes whole sections of the ships would be forever sealed off, never to be used again.
Electricity was in short supply, our power generated only by the light of a dying Sun upon the solar panels at the rear and sides of the vessels; the solar energy harvested growing weaker by the inexorable passage of time as we drifted soundlessly through the vacuum of space. Such power that we had was rationed to each family, providing enough for one bathful of warm recycled water and twenty daily minutes of re-heat for the distributed rationed food that was grown in the dermoglas houses on the exterior of the ships’ hulls. The onboard lighting was provided by the Gaje, strange worm-like creatures that remained frozen in blocks of preserved Arktik ice, radiating a light-blue glow said to be the result of having previously lived their lives thousands of feet below the surface of the Arktik Sea back on Urth, then becoming trapped in the ice each year when they returned to their spawning grounds before the melts happened and they returned to the sea bed once more. Oddly, they appeared to require no known sustenance and were often a source of keen scientific debate on board the The Dream Seeker amongst the Learned caste. Micro-organisms in the ice were apparently required to assist in sanitising the atmosphere of any planet we finally reached. I didn’t know much about the science involved as being just a lowly member of the Worker caste, educayshun was not something necessarily afforded to us, certainly not beyond that which we would need to carry out our assigned tasks.
We were all vegetarians then, living off a carefully cultivated and selected diet of plants chosen by the Growers before we originally left Urth. The plants we ate had been meticulously evolved throughout the long centuries of space travel to provide us with every nutrient we could need and incredibly could “breathe” from the void, expelling waste in the form of water and oxygen for all onboard to consume and inhale, only to be recycled and reused again and again. Massive tanks of their pure water were held in stasis within the giant hold of The Dream Seeker, to be used only when a crop of the plants had failed or was infected with some strange space-born virus. The air on board was recycled and always stale, making us prone to catching infections. Medician’s with their curious face masks and long, flowing coats of grey were a common sight on board.
I knew no other life, born as I was on board The Dream Seeker to aging parents. Back then, couples were not allowed to have children until they were in their forties due to the pressure of limited space upon the hulks, and then only one child per couple was allowed. Forced abortions were not uncommon and amongst the Worker caste this was resented, as with little else in the way of entertainment it was a hell of a price to pay for engaging in the act of physical lovemaking. Old age was frowned upon with the Humane Doctrine that we were all forced to live by stating that the elderly must jettison themselves into the void upon reaching the age of sixty years to prevent overpopulation or becoming a burden to the “Hive”, as the ship was commonly referred to. And, I guess a hive is exactly what it was. Everyone worked like bee-drones, serving the needs of the community and then sacrificing themselves when their usefulness began to drop off. Survival of the fittest, you could say. I thought it was evil then, and as I look back now my opinion hasn’t changed. Those due to be jettisoned would be paraded as heroes, a party would be thrown in their honour and then at the press of a button once they had entered the “Enlightenment Chamber” as it was so sanctimoniously called, they were cast into the vacuum of space like common trash.
And so each person was born into a caste. The Workers did the donkey work. The lifting, the carrying, the cleaning and the myriad of minor jobs that the other castes felt were beneath them. The Warriors maintained order on board the ship and investigated the crimes among the community. Their justice was dispensed quickly, efficiently and without mercy. An eye for an eye was the only law, dispensed by the huge men and women of that caste. There were never grounds for appeal against the judgements of a Warrior but in the main, the Warrior’s were stout-hearted, honest and true to their ideals of fairness and accountability. Of course, there were always rumours that some of them were being paid off, dispensing their own version of “justice” following a back-hand payment from a member of the Learned caste or by the Princelings, the ruling caste onboard each vessel.
And the Princelings “governed” us, for lack of a better term. There were no elections open to the masses, no major decisions to be made by any except those who were born into their caste with each family of Princelings taking their turn to rule for ten Urth years at a time, before cycling to the next family in line. I make it sound so simple, yet there was much political wrangling and dealing between families so that those who by rights were next in line could be passed over in favour of another should the head of each other household agree it.
With no way to travel between the vessels, communication was rare for there was never any news that required such and no way of sending aid to each ship even if it was desperately needed. Such communication as was used between ships was conducted by Astropaths, those few among us who had defied their birth caste and developed the ability to cast their thoughts across the void to make contact with similar individuals on board the other ships, passing news and other communications without the need to use any precious electrical energy. These Astropaths were awed and feared in equal measure by the non-path’s onboard or “Non’s” as they called us. They were free to move about the ship as they pleased; defying the caste area restrictions because what they had and could offer to the Princelings was worth more than a year’s supply of electricity: The ability to read thoughts and project them to others. Such perks as could be offered on board were theirs to enjoy. Women, men, water, and electricity, almost anything they could want. They were the only ones among us who were allowed to have more than one child, in the hopes that one of their offspring would display similar abilities. If the child reached five years of age without the powers being manifest, they were cast into the void with the next batch of Elders, like they were nothing but refuse. How their mothers would weep.
Aboard our ship, one of the Astropath’s had surpassed the mental powers of any of his kin and was the only known Kinepath, one capable of both telepathic as well as telekinetic abilities, able to move objects with merely a thought. Basius. His name was like a shadow on all our hearts, for he had no master, no mistress and no morals. He was both the greatest and the least amongst us. His mind was as sharp as, and his heart as hard as a diamond. He alone among us seemed destined to decide the fate of mankind aboard those ancient vessels.
And such is the way of man. Existence for the sake of existence is not our way. We strive to achieve fulfilment and Basius, cruel Basius was the very embodiment of ambition, ever seeking self actualisation. What follows here now is my tale. I am Andar and I have no surname for I was not born with one. I will tell you of the fate of mankind, for I was there. Brothers of Urth, what I say to you now will take hold of your very soul. I urge you to walk away from my fire-pit now, should you not wish to take on this burden: The burden of Truth.
(C) James Batty 2011